Beyond the fear
The other day a friend said something about fear that really caught my attention, so I want to share it here with you.
They said: “Just because you're afraid, doesn’t mean you're in danger.”
It may have been a quote they heard somewhere else. Or just a really wise of-the-moment comment. Either way, doesn’t matter, it’s GOOD STUFF.
Just because we FEEL fear—which shows up physically in our bodies as a very real and tangible response—doesn’t mean we are actually facing a real threat that requires such a response in order to survive.
Our fight-or-flight responses are not up for the challenge that is living a modern life. There is SO much stress, so many theoretical and non-obvious fears that we are dealing with. And it is CONSTANT.
And I believe, it’s the way we handle fear that is holding us back, keeping us swimming in a spiral of, dare I say, drama. Instead of working at root causes and conditions and making intentional choices, we are stuck in a reactive mode.
I work a lot with folks who are actively working on a feeling of being stuck or overwhelmed, who are trying to unblock themselves, finally breaking free from old narratives that have been holding them back. And I see patterns of what it is that holds people back.
It almost always boils down to FEAR.
I have a lot of experience with fear myself. And I know how immobilizing it can be.
Parenting choices that will impact our kids’ futures.
Care-taking responsibilities and family interrelations.
Bills to pay that there isn’t enough money for.
Dilemma’s that pit two very important values against each other.
Professional career decisions.
Relationship and communication issues.
Fear is behind SO many of the little and big choices we have to make every day. And these are the tiny building blocks that make up our lives, our characters, our legacy.
So much of who we are is based on what we are afraid of.
So this week I want to encourage you to think about the big and little things you react to, acknowledging the fear behind the anxiety or stress. And then make a conscious choice to set the fear aside and face the facts as clear-minded as possible.
There’s a word in Sanskrit word that literally translates to “without color,” meaning without emotion. It means something like, to stay actively engaged in the world around you, yet uncolored by it. I think it’s a powerful concept when we’re dealing with fear.
“What are the facts?” my dear friend Jeanne likes to ask me when I come to her with a struggle I’m dealing with.
When you FEEL afraid, what part of that fear can you set aside in the moment, so you can concentrate on how you can be most effective, most whole, and most fulfilled?
I’d love to hear from you about the fears you are facing right now, and how you are showing up in spite of them. Please remember, you are brave, and you are not alone.
With love,
Marit