Brave vulnerability
Greetings.
Last week I was sick. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to send out my regular Sunday Notes email. Because some of you have been writing in, I’m happy to know that these notes are, in fact, being read. And so it was sad for me to miss a week. For you, my dear reader, but also because these notes are so good for me.
For me, part of being sick is always tossing and turning around and around in my head as to the reason for my illness. And this time burn-out very definitely played a role. There was a virus involved, to be sure. But also stress.
And I know better. But there are things that I do, and keep doing, that add to my ongoing stress, and this time of year I’m always thinking about ways to set myself up for a successful year. This year is no expectation.
So I’m learning (still learning!) to say no even when it’s hard and uncomfortable. Even when I know I’ll be letting someone down.
I’m also learning to reimagine what a productive and successful day, week, quarter looks like. Both for myself, but also for my non-profit, my budding coaching career, my ongoing wholesale business. And for my relationships. These relationships being the heartbeat of a happy and healthy life.
One of those relationships I’m working on, as you know if you have been reading along, is with my own Inner Child. This little kid who gets excited about things that I don’t often do as an adult, who just wants to sit and read a book about art or some random bit of history… just because she’s curious. Or the cover looks pretty. This child who yearns to get her hands dirty, or to stare at the sky without a time limit. Without the confines of modern busy grownup life.
What does your inner kiddo long to do?
For some of us it’s been so long since we’ve asked, that the answers doesn’t come right away.
May I make a recommendation?
Ask anyway.
Write about it. Meditate on it. Say a small prayer. Don’t let your adult chime in. This isn’t about checking off another box: did you play with your inner child today? That defeats the purpose.
Ask and pause. And let yourself be delighted.
Before I started this practice I anticipated needing a ton of time to dedicate to her needs and whims and wants. But that’s never been the case. It’s a moment here or there. It’s more about regularly paying attention.
And yes, occasionally setting aside some time (we’ll dig into this more later on). But for now, just ask and listen. Maybe take a mental note. Or jot something down, preferably with a dull crayon. This is essential, pivotal, life-altering work. So obviously it mustn't be taken too seriously.
If you make the choice to start paying attention, and you hear a small voice start to speak up, perhaps timidly at first, maybe even with a little resentment over how long it’s taken you to come, I’d love to hear what comes up.
You are not alone,
Marit
