Every day is the best day
Another Sunday rolls around again and this one is special. The last day, the last SUNday of the year. Time moves, and the only way I’ve come to stop struggling against it is to pause and take a deeeeeep breath.
There, back in the present moment.
This last year has been a lot. Big moments of wonder and love, raising up a little one, from toddler-hood to full-fledged kiddo. She’s amazing. And every day is a new kind of challenge. Being a mama this year has kept everything in perspective, both the highs and the lows.
And currently one of my favorite lessons from parenthood is learning how (and when) to be more kind and gentle with my own inner child.
Yep, it seems obvious typing it out here. But it’s unfolding for me more and more with each day, each passing month, each new milestone: Paying attention, not being in a rush—even and especially when it feels impossible not to be—and acting out of kindness is what my daughter needs most.
And it’s also what I need most.
When life gets out of whack, feels unmanageable, and everything is dark or heavy. When there are financial hardships, relationship tension, health struggles. Miscommunications, miscalculations, missed opportunities.
Instead of powering through, relying on “tough love”, or piling on more distractions (all of which seemed like descent approaches before I had a child of my own), I’ve learned to turn inward, listen to my body for signs of what’s really wrong, and act out of love and from my Highest Self.
What would I say to SiSi if she were facing her own version of this struggle right now, at her age?
It’s not about protecting my own ego anymore, about being “right” or about holding on.
Not anymore. Not when raising a kid who I want to be strong resilient fearless and happy. Nope, now it’s about accepting, learning and letting go.
And when I pay attention to how my instincts kick in to be the best parent I can possibly be in any given moment, I also learn how to be the best version of myself as an adult.
The word “re-parenting” doesn't quite fit the notion. It’s not about undoing anything, or even about what happened to me as a little kid. But it’s about paying attention to that small voice inside of myself, the one who still wonders at the world, and is hurt easily because she’s got a tender heart. It’s about stopping to listen to her when I get a knot in my stomach, or an uncomfortable flush on my face.
As an added bonus, once you start to pay attention to your own Inner Kid, you start to see the inner kid inside everyone around you. Grownups are all just kids learning how to navigate in an adult world, with responsibilities, emotions, trauma, and even wonderful moments that we don’t always know how to handle. Next time you get frustrated with someone, try to imagine them as a four-year-old. Or a 14-year-old. What kindness can you give them, what grace can you offer. Because they really are just doing their best.
And you might have more patience and tolerance inside you than you ever imagined.
And that might be just the thing we all need most right now.
So, as the new year rolls around. I’m going to be talking more and more about this idea of an Inner Child. How can we be kinder and most gentle with ourselves, and with each other?
Hit reply and let me know what your inner kiddo is feeling right now. Do you need to get out and play more? Do you need to stop stressing and worrying, are you giving that kiddo WAY too much to handle right now? Do they just need to feel loved and noticed a little more? A hug, a cup of tea, a good listening to?
I’d love to hear from you.
You are not alone. You have your inner child to guide you, and to be loved by you.
We really are all in this together.
Happy New Year!
